“We have the choice to use the gift of our life
to make the world a better place – or not to bother.
The greatest danger to our future is apathy.
What you do makes a difference, and what you
have to decide is what kind of difference you want to make.”
~ Jane Goodall ~
Taking small and consistent steps to change your life is key to improving the quality of it. It is easy to give into overwhelm at seeing what we need to change as too enormous to even begin.
Dangerous stress levels are epidemic in our culture. We are subjected to fearful messages every day and we are understandably then anxious about our security. We work hard, striving to get ahead. This “inner state” is bad for our health and for the world we live in.
How do you change this tension and improve your health? One of the most simple steps to take is to practice acts of kindness every day.
This is not the same thing as “acting nice,” or as some people call it “making nice.” I am not suggesting that you put on a mask and fake nice behavior so that others will think well of you. That is an ego function that most people see through pretty quickly.
Being kind calls for some empathy on your part. Putting yourself in someone else’s shoes momentarily. Getting a glimpse of what they may be experiencing and taking some small action to help it go a little smoother.
Try this:
• Take several deep breaths and calm yourself in order to tune into what is going on around you. Be quiet and observe.
• If you are interacting with another person, really tune into what they are saying and respond to that, allowing them to explore and express what they have in mind. Don’t offer advice or dive into telling your story when they pause for breath. Reflect what they are feeling and saying.
• Slow down and hold the door for whoever is coming behind you. Allow the other driver to get ahead without crowding or pushing them.
• Make eye contact and smile at people you meet on the sidewalk and the grocery store aisle.
• Genuinely thank people who are providing service for you. Make your requests kindly and in good humor. I once had a client who worked as a checker in a grocery store who said that the worst part of the job was being treated badly by customers.
• Tip generously. “She works hard for her money,” is more than a rollicking good song.
• Take the time to listen to your children and develop patience in setting boundaries and enforcing them. You can be both kind and firm. Demonstrate the kindness you want to see in them.
• Opt out of griping sessions or gossip sessions about people you know and don’t know. Spreading negativity may give you a short ego boost, but the nastiness permeates everyone’s life. Remember what goes around comes around.
Remember that like everything we extend to others, it begins with ourselves. Kindness begins with you. Be kind with yourself. Give yourself a break by allowing rest and play in your routine. After making a mistake, ask yourself what you can learn from it instead of criticizing. You will soon be noticing the benefits of practicing kindness.
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