As the
holidays approach, most of us are preoccupied with plans and preparations for
observing whatever traditions we value.
Gift giving is usually a big part of our concerns.
Sometimes
this is a stressful part of the season.
Buying gifts can add some stress to an already strained budget. And thinking of the right gift for people
that you care about can also be difficult.
Have you
noticed that some people have a real knack for this? Think about gifts you have received that
really “hit the mark” and pleased you.
I’m guessing that the amount of money spent likely wasn’t what made the
difference between a ho-hum inner response and one that ignited a spark.
Gifts at
their best are a sign of recognition.
The giver recognizes something personal about you. A quality, an interest or a memory of
something that is important to you. It
is a sure sign that the giver is paying attention.
Who
wouldn’t be pleased by that?
Gifts can
honor and deepen a relationship. They
can also be an expression of what is most important by strengthening the bond
of love and affection. It’s a way of
saying, “You matter to me,” or “I appreciate you,” and “I know who you are.”
A family
member told me about a recent interaction with a relative of his who asked what
he would like for Christmas. When he
provided an answer, she said, “Well that’s boring! I don’t want to give you that!” He understandably felt exasperated and
wondered why she had asked.
Here’s
the thing: giving a gift is an
expression of you, but it’s not about you!
Here are
some ideas that may make this easier:
- Decide at the outset what you
can afford to spend for holiday celebrating. This might be a pleasant holiday instead
of one that leaves you with a bad financial hangover.
I know some people who in light of their money
circumstances have decided that they would not exchange gifts, but instead make
plans for doing something together that would be fun and create good memories.
- Think small and
meaningful. Remember the cliché,
“Good things come in small packages.”
Look through photographs that you have taken of a place or a person
that will spark a warm memory of time spent with a friend or family
member.
- Make it homemade. Small treats from the kitchen are always
welcome and a traditional reminder of the season. I have a friend who puts up preserves
every summer and we all look forward to receiving a precious jar of them.
- Consider making a donation to
a cause that is meaningful in the name of your friend or family
member. One year my siblings and I
collected and donated money to Heifer International to honor our father’s
memory. Remember your local food
bank, which is always in need this time of year. Or your local library (for a friend who
reads) or your local NPR station.
Both have suffered big funding cuts and need all the help and
support they can get.
Create a
card that tells the recipient that you have donated in their honor. Some organizations, such as Heifer
International, provide a beautiful card for you to give.
- Instead of material goods,
offer your time or service to someone who will benefit from it or enjoy
it. Coupons for car washing; home
cooked meals; babysitting for a parent or parents who could use a break
are examples.
Whatever
you decide, I hope the season of giving inspires you to give of yourself. And however you do it, instead of making it
one more stress, focus on finding the pleasure in it.
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